Biggest fan versus total enemy?
Ever been asked what you like and dislike about yourself? I bet every one of you can list more things you dislike than what you like about yourself? I get it, we are our own worst enemies most of the time, we beat ourselves up for whatever reasons, extreme reasons or just simple bull shit. So, my question to you is, why the hell are you not your own biggest fan? Fuck… I’m both, but mainly my biggest fan. I once hated myself, years ago, for years. I was extremely ill with depression, I had a broken heart, I didn’t like the person I was, yet everyone around me still loved and liked me?! So why was I hating on myself so much? I needed an out, I had two options, the highway, or life. I needed to change the way my head and heart worked and learn to love me.
The first step I took was to be by myself. And honestly it was the best thing I ever did, once I finally gave up chasing the boy who was destroying me in ways he’ll never know, I decided men and relationships were a fucking no-go. I did this for five years and I loved every part of it. I can’t recommend it enough, I literally learnt so, so much about myself. I learnt what and who I deserved. I look at people who jump from one fucking failed relationship to the next, and I kinda feel sorry for these people? Because to me, it’s so obvious they haven’t found themselves or found what they truly and really deserve, else why the short-failed relationships? Why the need to find someone within weeks of finishing it with someone? I mean how do they do it?! But hey, I’m not judging I just don’t understand, but that’s just an opinion of a 20 something year old bird who’d rather be in it for the long run than waste my time and effort for a two-month fling and end up hurt.
The next thing I did may seem selfish but it’s really fucking not….I put myself first. And I think everyone should do that. And by that, I mean, find you, find what you like, find who you like and find who you want to be. (This doesn’t happen overnight by the way.) Patience and time are a healer.
Then…find what makes you happy. Simple as that. Do more of what makes you smile, and belly laugh and just keep doing it. Surround yourself with good, honest people who love you, who’ve stuck with you every step of the way, they’re the ones who truly matter. I don’t believe I would be here to write this blog right now if it wasn’t for those who showed me love, those who picked my drunken ass up and out of the gutter time after time. The ones who wiped away the depressed tears, the ones who hugged me with all they had. I owe them a lot. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation please, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re struggling there is always someone who will listen, support and guide you. Professionals or not. This is not a weakness to ask for help. This is a step in the right direction to self-love.
I reckon once you’ve conquered the first four steps, everything else I suggest just falls into place, and this is where the fun and the sass begins.
How to self-love?
Exercise – Get the fuck up and get out, get fit! Take that class you’ve been too scared to go to, get a gym membership and use it. Get your girls to go with you! They say you put on a stone in your first year of a new relationship?! Fuck that!! Get that revenge body! Don’t do it for the waste of space that sacked you off, do it for yourself. The gym is my safe place, it fucking works wonders for my head and soul. Do it!!!
Music – Oh the love of music! If music isn’t a healer, I don’t know what the fuck is? Put some sassy tunes on, put you head phones in, go for a walk and hold your head fucking high. Do this when you walk into a new pub or club. Let the music take your body! Dance your fucking ass off. Listen to music when you’re working out, cleaning, cooking, studying. Just let the music flow. I’ve got an endless list of sassy songs so holla at me If you need them coz girllllll they are life!!!
Get naked – I know what you’re thinking? Is this girl O fucking K? Haha!! Seriously though, get naked. Love your body, every lump and bump, every scar, every inch, just embrace it. The more you love to love yourself in the skin you’re in, the more the confidence will shine from you. Walk around the house naked. Fuck it, leave the curtains open for those nosy neighbours, dance naked, take photos (just be fucking careful who knows the password to your phone haha! There’re some things your friends don’t need to see!)
Masturbate – OI OI!!! C’mon girls who doesn’t love a good old sesh on themselves? And if you are a girl who’s not into it, try it! Give it a go! Lock your doors, set the scene, put on some music or whack some porn on, hell, sit in front of the mirror if you have to? Watch yourself. Start with your fingers or get yourself down to Ann Summers or Love Honey or Bondara and experiment with some toys, fucking hell the amount of sex toys I’ve got, I could open my own shop!! lolzzzz. Learn to know what you like, how to be touched, it’ll make it so much easier when the next dick comes around and you’re confident enough, (because you now love yourself naked, and have experimented on yourself) to be able to tell this guy your likes and absolute hell No’s! Which nicely leads on to my next point.
Dick– Hmmm. God’s evil plan to make a girl break all the rules of being a sassy fuck. Dick. It is the devil…. Good Dick that is, fuck the shit dick or the guys that can’t locate the clit. Anyway, if you’re in the right headspace, and I can’t express this enough, only when you’re in the right headspace and you feel ready, go get some Dick. Have fun, experiment, have one-night stands. However, Don’t be a dick yourself and chase men who already has girlfriends because ain’t no one got time for that, no one wants to be known for that. But girls, be warned good sex will fuckkk your head! Know what you want from the dick and stick to it. Don’t sleep with a guy to make yourself feel better if you’ve been feeling shit about yourself! Yeah, if the sex is good it will be great, but to sit there butt naked while he gets dressed, fucks off, and probably never contact you again? Babe, you’ll be back at square one feeling like shit, probs worse than you were before the big old D. Don’t do that yourself. Go back to the points before. Yourself. And if one-night stands and random hook-ups ain’t your thing, and I totally get it if it’s not (I can’t think of anything worse now I’m older) that’s totally okay to! Just do you. Whichever way you go, always, and I mean always remember your self-worth. Don’t let the devil dick ruin everything you’ve done in creating the you.
I hope this helps, even in the slightest, you could have read this and thought it was total bullshit, but you know, these opinions helped me be who I am now…. And that’s my own biggest fan!
Sass Queen xx